Although this is Fiero related I thought it would fit better in the O/T section. This is a true story. It happened on Tuesday.


This is just one photo in series that I call, "Minutes Before Terror".

I thought for a while about what the best title for this post might be. It could have been any of the following;

-How I almost killed us
-Minimum Maintenance Roads are really, really bad in the rain.
-I'm an idiot


Happy Anniversary

This month marks our 10 wedding anniversary. Being a guy who loves his wife and car I convinced my wife that it would be a great adventure to take a road trip up the Great River Road through Iowa and Minnesota along the Mississippi river. We had a great time and saw some really cool towns along the way. I also wanted to find some really fun roads to drive on. We did that too. Day 1 was almost a total success.


Day 2, Rain.

The drive starts out with rain. I am not the type to let my car get rained on under normal conditions. It has actually been several years since it has been rained on. That is bad enough by itself.


It gets worse

Due to road closures we end up on gravel somewhere north of Elkader, Iowa. I drive 20 mph to avoid rocks and dust. After driving 5 miles on gravel I am frustrated with this sloppy road surface and am ready to find pavement. My GPS finally says, "Turn right and drive 1.5 miles".


This is where the story takes a turn for the worst.

The road chosen by my GPS has a Yellow sign that says, "Minimum Maintenance Road Enter at Own Risk". It is the point where a sensible person turns around. - But I think, "How bad can it be? This is Iowa. It couldn't be much worse than what I am already on". I have a lot of confidence in my abilities and the cars capabilities so against my wife's concerns I turn the corner. It was fine at first though it was basically a one lane road at this point.

The Iowa State DOT lied to us. This is not a road!

We are sliding! Realizing that there is no traction and that we would be hopelessly stuck on the far side of nowhere I decide to keep my momentum and try to power through it. Now the drama escalates! After nearly bogging down I gave it more speed. It is very difficult to see out of the front window due to the rain. Even if I could, the road becomes nothing more than a muddy trail with standing water and a ravine on the right side that a creek runs through.


Driving for our lives!

I could not have driven with more urgency if a whole pack of Bigfoot were chasing the car. I am now endowed with the driving abilities of the late Collin McRae. Excitement, horror, disbelief, desperation, and survival are some of the emotions that I felt. HOW COULD IT HAVE GOT THIS BAD? I am scared of loosing the car and I am going uncomfortably fast to avoid getting stuck. For a nearly a mile the car was sliding and fishtailing. We didn't dare stop.

My wife is experiencing absolute terror as am I, but she is also hyperventilating and every time something banged against the underbody of the car explosions of panic ensue. It was what you call a, "Come to Jesus Moment" There was screaming and pleading. I heard my name a lot. Then she manages to scream, "I can't see! I can't see! Run the wipers". I say, "It won't help. They're in the trunk". (I use RainX but its old. I don't like how wipers look. I'm an idiot).

AHHHHH!

We round a corner in a full sideways slide then another series of fishtails as I guide the car at high speed directly into one of the largest mud and water bogs. Bad things are happening. I no longer am concerned about damage to the car. I am focused on not dieing. It is still going generally where I want it to but I have to choose the least terrible place to try to put my wheels. There is no good place. We are being jostled violently! I hear another scream between rapid breaths as the car hits the mud and water bog. We cause a black wake of mud and water to fly from both sides of the car. DECELERATION I am only concerned about keeping the front wheels tracking properly and momentum.

The nightmare starts to subside.

We start up a hill. Realizing that better, drier ground is now under the car I finally feel safe enough to stop. My wife is angry, frightened, shaking, frustrated, and shaken to the core of her being. She says, "Get me out of here. The last place I want to be stuck is East Deliverance Iowa".

I put the wipers back on. Mud is packed in my wheel wells all the way to the tire. With about .3 miles to go the road isn't nearly as bad but on the last downhill there was still one more heart stopping bog to traverse. Having off road experience in a Jeep Cherokee I determined the best places to go through. One more wave of quick panic.


Back up the last steep hill.

My wife asked are we going to make it up? Oh ya! There is no way I'm stopping.


Pavement! Were saved!

I told my wife that this was proof that God takes car of children and fools. She said in my case it was both. Still shaking and experiencing PTSD I couldn't help but think that what we just experienced was something beyond remarkable. It was terrifying. It was shocking. It was an absolutely horrifying experience in a Fiero. BUT, it was Amazing! I felt so alive. However, I never want to repeat it. Well maybe, but in something trail-rated. - With lockers. At this point my wife said that she needed chocolate or alcohol. I needed something to take off the nerves too.

This photo was taken several miles after the event much of the mud had fallen from the wheel wells but the underside was still covered.


It took several hours for my body and emotions to return to their normal state. After returning home I washed the car, pulled each wheel, then cleaned and inspected, the suspension at each corner. No damage. All ball joints were still tight and nothing was bent or broken. I checked the coolant tubes and the under body. Nothing was wrong. Amazing!

I am a guy who actually obeys traffic laws and speed limits. I can't even think about driving down another dirt road for a long time. I see them in a different way. Never again in a sports car. Never Never Never. If you ever see a sign that says, "Minimum Maintenance Road. Enter at own risk". It is not a road! It is a trap that could lead to the most horrible experience that you can't imagine. You will just have to trust me.

We are still married.

Nice vending machine.

heh... sounds like you could have turned that into a movie. Thrills, suspense, death defying maneuvers, woman drama...

quote Originally posted by ryan.hess: heh... sounds like you could have turned that into a movie. Thrills, suspense, death defying maneuvers, woman drama...

No. You don't understand. I went through something similar in the Smokey Mountains some years ago -- the "road" was marked on the map, and there was no reason (other than prior experience) not to use it. You go through this, you're not thinking "oooohhh, Brad Pitt could play me!", you're thinking about the love of your life in the other seat, and about using every skill you have to get her home safely.

In this respect, I much prefer aviation. The Airport/Facility Directories are pretty good about telling us about things like "trees in runway."

Wow that does read like it could be a short movie.

I am glad to hear you both made it out of the situation alive and with no damage to the car. It sounds like the key element in keeping you both safe was that your probably a skilled/experienced driver.

While I never have gone mudding in my fiero, in the winter time I usually look for the most....challenging... road I can find. It's usually a lot of fun... usually

Though having your wife in the passenger seat, I can see why you were concerned. And I guess I wouldn't like the mud bogs either.

Kenton, glad to hear that you both (or should I say all three, must include the Fiero) made it out of there alive and well.

Now you'll never forget this anniversary!! Sheer terror and excitement will do that!! Are you two laughing about it yet? Is your wife still mad at you?

It will be extremely hard to top this years anniversary!! You better start thinking now about what you are going to do for next year!!

I loved the part about not having your wipers on the car. lol That cracked me up, I'm surprised your wife didn't haul off and smack the crap out of you then!!

I just dunno what to say other than--whew!!---and been there myself once, but only with 2 of my children with me, thinking the whole time "Don you stupid dumbasx".

It will be an anniversary your wife won't ever forget tho.


I WANT ONE OF THOSE VENDING MACHINES!!!

I dont like the way wipers look!? LOL!

I can sell ya an all wheel drive Subaru for your driving experiance.

I live in the country and love the gravel roads. I get the panic attack driving in Minneapolis these days.

quote Originally posted by MonteC: I dont like the way wipers look!? LOL!

At all the Central Iowa Fiero meets I've been to, Race has yet to show up with W Washers.

Here you go MJ.

Made in Iowa.
http://www.vcibaitvend.com/

Post traumatic secs can be amaising, probably not so much for military personel?


------------------
Ol' Paint, 88 Base coupe auto.
Turning white on top, like owner.
Leaks a little, like owner.
Doesn't smoke....... OK, we're trying to quit.

[This message has been edited by DtheC (edited 10-09-2008).]

quote Originally posted by Shyster: In this respect, I much prefer aviation. The Airport/Facility Directories are pretty good about telling us about things like "trees in runway."

It doesn't however, mention Deer. 3JC, the local airport has had 3 deer/aircraft strikes this year.

quote Originally posted by htexans1: Here on base we have a staff of 30 counselors to deal with a division (about 3500 soldiers).

3500=a division nowadays?? Wow, I knew the military was doing more with less, but I can remeber a division being 10,000 or more.

quote Originally posted by maryjane: 3500=a division nowadays?? Wow, I knew the military was doing more with less, but I can remeber a division being 10,000 or more.

3500 is the number NOT currently on deployment, with a brigade stationed away from here. Its a LOT more people actually in the division, but a lot less are at home station today. Thus the 3500 number.

[This message has been edited by htexans1 (edited 10-09-2008).]

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Kenton, glad to hear that you both (or should I say all three, must include the Fiero) made it out of there alive and well. Now you'll never forget this anniversary!! Sheer terror and excitement will do that!! Are you two laughing about it yet? Is your wife still mad at you? It will be extremely hard to top this years anniversary!! You better start thinking now about what you are going to do for next year!! Gecko, I actually had my video camera set up on my new car mount but it wasn't on. This is the second time this year that I really wish that it had been on and recording. It would have been a $10,000 dollar winner. The other time was when I was messing with a cholla cactus. Another equally stupid moment. I am almost certain that it won't be my last. I loved the part about not having your wipers on the car. lol That cracked me up, I'm surprised your wife didn't haul off and smack the crap out of you then!!

We laughed about it almost immediately however we were in shock. For next year I am planning a running gun battle.

She is no longer mad at me but she hasn't let me touch her ever since. Usually I hear the words, "Don't come near me'!

[This message has been edited by RACE (edited 10-09-2008).]

quote Then she manages to scream, "I can't see! I can't see! Run the wipers". I say, "It won't help. They're in the trunk". (I use RainX but its old. I don't like how wipers look. I'm an idiot).

I agree, you are an idiot. Safety should come before vanity.

quote "It won't help. They're in the trunk"

LMAO...this is a classic line, sounds like it could be in a movie.

Glad everyone is OK!

The GPS s are interesting. When I left the Michigan Speedway after the 25th show, My GPS said turn right on (name not remembered) highway. It was a dirt road. I figured it was a short cut across the hill to a paved road.. no such luck. It directed me to continue on to another dirt road. Now for those who do drive on north country roads that get plowed for winter snows, you can imaging the washboard I was driving on for miles. At a max speed of 20, the rear view mirror shook off the windshield bracket and a spark plug shook loose. No real place to stop on a one lane road. I'm glad the road was dry.

Finally made it to a paved road, locate an Auto Zone to see what is missing. It was just a spark plug that popped off, on the fire wall side naturally.

Years back I got the Fiero stuck in some mud, but was able to rock it out, vowing never again to take the car off road.

quote Originally posted by RACE: We laughed about it almost immediately however we were in shock. For next year I am planning a running gun battle. She is no longer mad at me but she hasn't let me touch her ever since. Usually I hear the words, "Don't come near me'!

I would have thought that after all that, you guys would have felt so alive that you jumped each others bones!! lol
Well maybe you did!

But now she won't let you come near her, too funny!!!!

How are the kids???

WOW!
I've never had an experience like that
I believe I could handle it wiith more driving experience, nobody in the passenger seat, and good wipers though.


Too bad you didn't have a video of that whole ordeal, like from a Helicopter though

We drive excitement, .
Glad everything worked out.

quote Originally posted by RACE: It took several hours for my body and emotions to return to their normal state. After returning home I washed the car, pulled each wheel, then cleaned and inspected, the suspension at each corner. No damage. All ball joints were still tight and nothing was bent or broken. I checked the coolant tubes and the under body. Nothing was wrong. Amazing! I am a guy who actually obeys traffic laws and speed limits. I can't even think about driving down another dirt road for a long time. I see them in a different way. Never again in a sports car. Never Never Never. If you ever see a sign that says, "Minimum Maintenance Road. Enter at own risk". It is not a road! It is a trap that could lead to the most horrible experience that you can't imagine. You will just have to trust me. We are still married.

Man, do you realize that there were only 1,800 1987 Fiero SE / V6 cars ever made? You own one of the rares and lowest production Fieros ever made... even lower production than the Indy. You've got to take care of it otherwise I'll be the only one on this planet left with one!

------------------
Todd,
2006 Pontiac Solstice
2004 Volkswagen Beetle Convt. (Wife's)
2002 Ford Crown Victoria LX
1987 Pontiac Fiero SE / V6
1981 EZ-GO Xi875-A "Miami Dolphins" Medical Cart
1973 Volkswagen Type-2 Transporter
1973 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme 350

quote Originally posted by 82-T/A [At Work]: Man, do you realize that there were only 1,800 1987 Fiero SE / V6 cars ever made? You own one of the rares and lowest production Fieros ever made... even lower production than the Indy. You've got to take care of it otherwise I'll be the only one on this planet left with one!

My car had not seen rain for years. Never snow since I have owned it. I baby the car except for in corners.

I would not have been on that road at all if I had been by myself. I was afraid that my wife would have been unhappy if I had back tracked. Most of the great mistakes in my life have occurred in the presents of a female. I love them anyway. I mean her.

My car is even more rare if I am not mistaken, but sadly is only a 4-cylinder. Some day it will be a 3800SC. Maybe when the kids are out of the house.

Edit: avengador1, if you really believe that sell your car and buy a Volvo.

[This message has been edited by RACE (edited 10-10-2008).]

quote Originally posted by RACE: Edit: avengador1, if you really believe that sell your car and buy a Volvo.

I just happen to have a Volvo that is by leaps and bounds faster than any Fiero I have ever owned
My speed has been clocked by an Officer friend on a closed road at 276 Kph!! In a 4 door 4000 pound S70 T5. Slightly modified apparently.
So you can have safety AND vanity

I am glad you and the misses survived. I have done the very same thing in a Camaro once.
And on the RainX, I too use that.. Well the same basic stuff, but I keep my wipers cause it always wear out at the WORST time.

[This message has been edited by 8Ball (edited 10-10-2008).]

quote Originally posted by RACE: At this point my wife said that she needed chocolate or alcohol.

Women are odd creatures, aren't they?

Great story. You get a big "plus" for posting that!

RACE, where was that last pic taken??? i may have been there a few years back...

oh, my Fiero doesn't go into anything mud related, i know this was unavoidable for you, but i refuse to take the Fiero into a situation like that. EVER

LMAO.......

Ya know, for about 3 years I called a drive like that "going home".

Now that you been thru it in the wet, try it in the cold when all that water is ice and snow drifts.

I was just thinking about this thread today, as I was putting RainX on my windshield

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1984 Fiero SE

I was somewhere northwest of Elkader. I don't remember the name of the road but I remember that day vividly. Looking back it was one of the most intense experiences of my life. I don't regret it because nothing got broken, nobody got hurt and it might have been the biggest rush I have ever had.

If we ever have a drought I would like to revisit that road again. Never again in the wet without 4WD. Since then I have wanted to get a beat up WRX for roads like that.

That area just looks framiliar for some reason. it appears to be near where i go trout fishing, normally around elkader and north to approx st. olaf where i stop at the tap for a 1lb pork tenderloin

I love stories like this. I have a few of myself, but thats for another thread sometime. Kudos and a + for you!!