Dealing with a budding hoarder ? (Page 1/1)
MidEngineManiac NOV 25, 05:44 AM
Anybody got any ideas ?

Kim has been working at a charity thrift shop for about 6 months, and one of her "perks' is she can take a free bag of clothing every shift...

OK, fine, I get it that girls get bored of a piece of clothing after 3-2-1 or even 0 wearings (some of this stuff still has tags on it) and have some weird need to constantly cycle the wardrobe...

Now how do I get her to toss or re-donate the old stuff ???? We have 67-kabillion pairs of womens pants. 193 quadrakillion shirts and sweaters. 32 gibazillion jackets, all stuffed in assorted closets, in the bedroom, in the living room.....and NONE of it is mine !!

Talking and asking doesnt work.

Sneakilly tossing some of it is....well, I wont do THAT again now that I have lived through a scene from the exorcist.

I've considered peeing in the closets, but that might be construed as a little strange.

HELP !!!!!!!
Notorio NOV 25, 11:06 AM
This is well beyond my pay grade. If you are a praying man, asking for wisdom and compassion is a good place to start. If it was my wife I guess I'd try reading up on the subject and look for suggestions there. As an alternative to getting discouraged, you can try viewing this from a positive point of view, i.e. that you are going to dedicate yourself to getting to the root cause that has manifested itself this way: there may be some deep-seated emotional issue she has that needs healing and YOU are going to do everything you can to get her to that positive outcome. In other words, its another opportunity to love your wife and be the husband that rides to the rescue!

It is a little alarming that the charity clearly brings in more clothes than the community needs, and solves this by allowing volunteers to take home 'a bag every shift.' Wow! My thought was that maybe you and your wife could start a charity that arranges for excess clothing like this to flow toward humanitarian crisis zones. Or, to flow to organizations that are already set up to do that (e.g. Samaritan's Purse, Red Cross, etc.) This doesn't deal with the root cause of your wife's issue BUT it might reduce the clutter and tension at home. Or, this might be the long-term outcome after you have fought your way through the problem per above.

This is a tough situation! Please know our thoughts and prayers are with you.
maryjane NOV 25, 11:19 AM
I can explain part of it... maybe.
Women, far more than men have this idea of what they should look like in regards to clothing and how that clothing fits. If a women gains a little weight over the years, or leses it away from what THEY think makes them look good, they will always hang on to the clothes that no longer fit figuring they are gonna be able to get back into their 'skinny' (younger age) clothes at some point. Same with fashion. ("Oh those bell bottom pants are gonna come back!!") or "Somebody can use that in my family and I'll keep it if they come visit" or, "You know how much I PAID for those?".

Men just keep and wear clothes till they are threadbare and generally don't give a crap about fashion but not so with the fairer sex. They gotta be 'in' all the time.
Jake_Dragon NOV 25, 11:23 AM
Or she could sell them on https://poshmark.com/ my girlfriend sells things on there, mostly shoes but sometimes clothing.
It will add up.
82-T/A [At Work] NOV 26, 01:27 PM
You just have to agree that her closet is her defined space. Do you share a closet with her? If so, you need to claim at least one side of the four (or three) walls. Whatever space she occupies... she can cram whatever she wants in there... as long as it's not spilling out all over the place, then it shouldn't matter.

But basically everything MJ said... that's exactly as I've seen it for the entire time I've been married. Every single one of those comments.


My wife does cross-fit three days a week, and runs 7 days a week. She's been doing this for 8 months now, and for the first time in her life, the clothes that are too baggy on her, she's gotten rid of, and the clothes she used to wear when we were younger, and can actually wear now... she's saying... "See... I told you..." Hahah...
MidEngineManiac NOV 26, 01:45 PM
You've heard of "mission creep" and "project creep".....welcome to "space creep"

MY jeans and sweaters now reside on a rack in the spare room.

Guess what ? 2 packs of hangers (30 each) magically appeared on the grocery order this time around.

[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 11-26-2022).]