 
     |
| As if you didn't know...my farts are AMAZING!!!! (Page 1/1) |
|
TheDigitalAlchemist
|
SEP 11, 12:07 AM
|
|
Ok, gonna "confide" in you folks tonight. on a situation that happened in my past....
I once ate some awesome taco bell. mmmm SO good. Taco. Bell. MMMMMMM.
Next day, I was on the Executive Floor and used their bathroom.
Ohhhhhhh.
Boy....
Did I
"do what I had to do"... oh baby.
I pooped and farted and did all sorts of amazing "feats of humanity". SOOO good...
I open the door and Dick Cheney is there, ready to enter the room I just TOTALLY destroyed.
I hold the door open for him... and as i am doing so... I match gazes with the secret service guy that's standing there down the hall, and I do the 'atom bomb from my anus/throat slit' sign, and he falls over laughing.
Two seconds later, Dick scrambles out...
"Oh my GOD..." and I reply "I know, right?!?" and keep walking, Like Iron Man with the Tank....The secret Service guy was DYING laughing...
There are a few moments of my life that I TRULY have enjoyed, and THAT was one of them...
xoxox[This message has been edited by TheDigitalAlchemist (edited 09-11-2023).]
|
|
|
Patrick
|
SEP 11, 01:05 AM
|
|
| quote | Originally posted by TheDigitalAlchemist:
I open the door and Dick Chaney is there, ready to enter the room I just TOTALLY destroyed.
|
|
You do know that Dick Chaney has shot people for less, right? 
|
|
|
MidEngineManiac
|
SEP 11, 03:46 AM
|
|
Challenge accepted.
(MeM blasts off to the kitchen to cook up a batch of his anus destroying world famous #40 chillie. With extra corn for added projectile power).
 [This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 09-11-2023).]
|
|
|
|
maryjane
|
SEP 11, 09:28 AM
|
|
|
Everyone, has at one time or will, gamble with a fart....and lose.
|
|
|
|
MarkS
|
SEP 11, 10:31 AM
|
|
Jeez, my computer started to stink when I opened this! That'll teach me! 
|
|
|
|
cvxjet
|
SEP 11, 12:16 PM
|
|
Back in 2005, I got a dog (She got me)....I was watching a football game at my father's house....Skye would go in his bedroom and watch the "other" dog in the mirrors on his closet doors. She would suddenly decide to bark at that dog, then come charging out to the front room for "Backup"...
She did that and turned facing down the hall and looking at us with that "Collie smile"...Then she did a choke/cough....Suddenly whipped he head around to look at her rear, then yipped and took off down the hall at a full gallop. My father remarked "That is one skittish dog".
Next day I told my co-worker about this, and he told me "She probably farted" A week later she was laying on the floor next to my chair. Choked/coughed and then jumped up and started sniffing where her rump had been....I leaned over and sniffed- yep, stinky-farty girl!
|
|
|
|
fredtoast
|
SEP 11, 04:44 PM
|
|
I have learned to weaponize my flatulence. I have used it to break up with women and to avoid getting invited back to places I never wanted to go in the first place.
it is pretty simple to just learn with food give you the most volume of gas. With me it is raw bell peppers and cabbage. Then you add other foods to increase the stench. I mainly use egg salad, but at times I have also taken capsules of pure curry powder. You need to eat this about 4-6 hours before you want to start busting out. This is different with different people so you just have to do some experimenting. But the big secret weapon is heat patches. These are large sticky patches that people use for back/muscle pain. You apply a few of these to your lower abdomen just when you start farting and they will open the floodgates.
|
|
|
|
cvxjet
|
SEP 11, 07:16 PM
|
|
Eating what will give you gas; The best thing I ever found for this is Amy's Refried Beans (Black beans)...They are the BEST refried beans you will ever eat- but do NOT smoke, light a stove or cause any sparks in your house for at least 3 days after consuming them.
|
|
|
|