Monday, November 17, 2003 - Page updated at 12:00 A.M.

Mother kills raped daughter to restore 'honor'

By Soraya Sarhaddi Nelson
Knight Ridder Newspapers

SHARON PERRY / KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
Amira Abu Hanhan Qaoud is charged in the death of her 17-year-old daughter, Rofayda. "This is the only way I could protect my family's honor," says the mother of nine.


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ABU QASH, West Bank — Raped by her brothers and impregnated, Rofayda Qaoud refused to commit suicide, her mother recalls, even after she bought the 17-year-old a razor with which to slit her wrists.

So Amira Abu Hanhan Qaoud says she did what she believes any good Palestinian parent would: restored her family's "honor" through murder.

Armed with a plastic bag, razor and wooden stick, Qaoud entered her sleeping daughter's room last Jan. 27. "Tonight you die, Rofayda," she told the girl, before wrapping the bag tightly around her head.

Next, Qaoud sliced Rofayda's wrists, ignoring her muffled pleas of "No, mother, no!" After her daughter went limp, Qaoud struck her in the head with the stick.

Killing her sixth-born child took 20 minutes, Qaoud tells a visitor through a stream of tears and cigarettes that she smokes in rapid succession. "She killed me before I killed her," says the 43-year-old mother of nine. "I had to protect my children. This is the only way I could protect my family's honor."

The guilty brothers are in jail.

Qaoud's confessed crime, for which she must appear before a three-judge panel Dec. 3, is one repeated almost weekly among Palestinians living in the West Bank, Gaza Strip and Israel. Female virtue and virginity define a family's reputation in Arab cultures, so it's women who are punished if that reputation is perceived as sullied.

Victims' rights groups say the number of "honor crimes" appears to be climbing, but at the same time, getting little attention. Israelis and Palestinians are too busy with political and military issues to notice what they dismiss as domestic disputes, says Suad Abu-Dayyeh, who works for the Women's Center for Legal Aid and Counseling in East Jerusalem.

Poverty and war have exacerbated the problem, says Nadera Shalhoub-Kevorkian, a social work and criminology professor at Hebrew University in Jerusalem and an expert on violence against women. "Men do not have any power except over women," she says.

Palestinian police reported 31 cases in 2002, up from five during the first half of 1999, according to the center's study. Police in Israel investigated at least 18 honor killings in the past three years.

But the number of killings is likely higher, given that Palestinian police investigate only crimes that have been reported, said Yousef Tarifi, the Ramallah prosecutor assigned to Qaoud's case. Shalhoub-Kevorkian says her research showed the likely number to be 15 times higher than the number of reported cases.

Qaoud says her husband, Abdul Rahim, 52, told her the Quran forbade such killings. But neither his pleas nor those of Palestinian crisis counselors swayed her.

According to court records, Rofayda was raped by her brothers, Fahdi, 22, and Ali, 20, in a bedroom they shared in the family's three-room house. On Nov. 26, 2002, doctors at a nearby hospital who were treating Rofayda for an injured leg discovered she was eight months pregnant.

Palestinian authorities whisked her off to a women's shelter in Bethlehem, where she gave birth to a healthy boy Dec. 23. He has been adopted by another Palestinian family, court records show.

Rofayda, meanwhile, wanted to return to her parents in the Ramallah suburb of Abu Qash. Ramallah Gov. Mustafa Isa called a meeting with the family and village elders, demanding they pledge in writing not to harm the girl.

"He asked me if everyone in the family and the village would promise not to bother this girl, but I told him I couldn't give him a guarantee," Abu Qash Mayor Faik Shalout says.

Rofayda returned home in late January without notifying the authorities.

The shame was unbearable, Qaoud said. Relatives and friends refused to speak to her family. Her elder daughters' husbands wouldn't allow them to visit because Rofayda had returned home.

On Jan. 27, Rofayda sent word that she was in danger to counselors at Abu-Dayyeh's center in East Jerusalem. They, in turn, called Palestinian police in Ramallah, who have jurisdiction over Abu Qash. The police said they couldn't get to the Qaoud home because of Israeli checkpoints.

Qaoud, meanwhile, sent her husband, who suffers from heart disease, to a doctor in the nearby village of Bir Zeit. Her three youngest children went to a cousin's house.

At 11:30 p.m. she killed Rofayda, court records show. Tarifi, the prosecutor, says he's convinced Qaoud had an accomplice, but Qaoud insists she acted alone.

Qaoud turned herself in and, after four months in jail, was released pending the resolution of her case.

While honor killings committed in the heat of the moment — for example, by a husband who catches his wife in bed with another man — generally carry a six-month to one-year jail term, Qaoud will likely be sentenced to three to five years in prison, Tarifi says.

The fact she is a mother who was trying to protect her family's honor mitigates the crime of premeditated murder, which is punishable by death under Palestinian law, he adds.

The brothers are serving minimum 10-year sentences in a Palestinian jail in the West Bank city of Jericho for statutory rape of a relative, Tarifi says.

No trace of Rofayda or her brothers remains in the family home. Qaoud says she ripped up all of their photographs and burned their clothes. The bedroom in which she killed her daughter is now a storeroom.

Erasing the memories is harder, she admits. She eases her pain by doting on her three children still living at home, especially the youngest, Fatima, 9, whom she lavishes with kisses. The children say they've forgiven Qaoud and return her affection.

"My mother did this because she does not want us to be punished by people," Fatima explains with a shy smile. "I love my mother much more now than before."

Copyright © 2003 The Seattle Times Company

sorry man, that was just gross....

why oh why can't we all just get along?!?!?!?!

quote Qaoud says her husband, Abdul Rahim, 52, told her the Quran forbade such killings.

You see, Islam was mentioned. Of course, the mention is against this crime, but lets not bother with details...

BTW, the Old Testiment says that a woman who is raped inside a city where someone could hear her cry out is guilty of adultery if she does not cry out. IMS, the punsishment is marrying the rapist if she is unwed or being stoned if she is wed.

again, i misunderstood and posted some inane babble about people's perception of their religious writings. nevermind, I just realised the mention of the Quran was against the killing she did.

This article does have very little to do with Islam, but rather with the morality and beleifs of a nation's people and their actions based on that beleif. Its terrible that these crimes are increasing, hopefully someone will take notice.

Unfortunately the internet has become a playground for the garbage of American society. There are anti-jew, anti-muslim, anti-asian, anti-african websites all over the internet. Makes me ashamed to be an american.

Bye.

-Jeff

Dennis, look up the term "Butter Box Babies" in a search engine. Trust me on the term. What you'll find is that in Nova Scotia about 80 years ago, young women that found themselves in trouble would go to this "hotel" to have the child. You see, the problem was, the children would be put up for adoption. Oh, thats not all, the children that were deemed "un-adoptable" were fed very little, starved and died. They were put in butter boxes and buried in unmarked graves.

Now, would you like me to mention that Nova Scotia was primarily christian at the time? Would you like me to mention that christians pushed their daughters oout of the family to have these babies because of the shame of their daughters actions?

Its easy to see that the development of these countries has been stunted by imperialist actions from a century ago. I would say that their current actions are the equivalent of what we were doing 70, 80 and 90 years ago.

Now, would you like me to drag up every goddamned case on the internet of a christian performing evil in the name of the lord and make comparisons about how that represents your entire goddamned religion?