If your vocabulary includes frequent use of words like “Dude”, “Bro”, or “Dawg”, you’re an inarticulate nitwit. And, you’re an idiot.
If, on 9-12-01, you bought a flag at your local dollar store (which is likely owned by Islamic types from the Middle East) and nylon-tied said flag to your car antenna,
then allowed it to deteriorate in the elements until it was a filthy, shredded remnant on a stick, you are not patriotic. You are, however, a trendy jerk, and an idiot.
If you have a 1998 Honda CRX, and you removed the back seat to make room for 18” subwoofers, and you drive by my house at 11:30 pm every evening with your bass turned all the way up, and rumble my living room floor with your stupid, urban-contemporary aural mind dump, you lack personality, and are oblivious to the world around you. And, you’re an idiot.
If you’re a cashier, and you are unable to make change on my $1.41 purchase when I give you a dollar, two quarters, and a penny, you are a tragic example of the monumental failure of our public education system. And, you’re an idiot.
If you enter a news oriented chat room, and write “A/S/L everyone”,
or send e-mails with the heading “Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: This is soooooo funny OMG LOL”,
or if you type the above in all capital letters,
or all small letters,
or substitute “u” for “you” or “tha” for “the” or “peeps” for “people”,
or if you are simply incapable of expressing an intelligible thought because you don’t understand phonics, grammar, or punctuation,
you are a pathetic, illiterate wretch, and an idiot.
If you are a vegetarian because of conscience, and refuse to wear fur because you’re against bludgeoning harp seals, and won’t buy certain shampoos because you’re against animal testing, and lobby to save rain forests in South America so some rare fern won’t be plowed under, and oppose capital punishment for first degree murder, and attend anti-war rallies because you loathe violence, but support abortion on demand, you are intellectually dishonest, morally deficient, self-centered, and an idiot.
If you listen to emo, screamo, or any rap/rock hybrid with turntable scratches in the background, you are tone deaf and have bad taste. And, you’re an idiot.
If you read Maxim cover to cover, or can rattle off baseball stats from twelve years ago, or watch Real World religiously, or cry during made-for-tv movies on the Lifetime Channel, but can not name your representative in Congress, you’re a shallow, bovine retard who shouldn’t vote. And, you’re an idiot.
If you start sentences with “They say…”, then proceed to spout baseless propaganda or platitudes ad nauseam, you are a brainless, nattering twit, and an idiot.
If you think I, or any other American, should be taxed to pay for your health care, or housing, or education, or food, or other personal needs, you are an irresponsible parasite. And, you’re an idiot.
If you read this, and are pissed off at me because I “offended” you, and you think you have a right to not be offended, and you think I care if I offended you, you’re a deluded, pompous turd.
Oh, and you’re also an idiot.
