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Some jerk threw his soda at me! by stimpy
| Started on | : 05-11-2005 02:18 PM |
| Replies | : 103 |
| Last post by | : Tugboat on 05-16-2005 07:38 AM |
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May 11th, 2005
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stimpy
Member Posts: 8197
From: Salinas, CA
Registered: Jan 2000
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Total ratings: 386
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I can't believe it! I volunteer at the local retirement home for the convent, and frequently drive the van of retired nuns to errands in town, like tending to the bandages of leper panhandlers. Well, after handing out meals to the homeless we were at a stoplight in the Church Van when the Sisters decided to begin singing hymns of praise to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. As the youngest of these ladies are in their eighties, they can't sing very loud, but their fervor compensates.
During the second verse of "Nearer My Lord To Thee", I heard a savage barking coming from the other side of my window! I turned and looked to see the snarling gleaming teeth of a savage Rottweiler flinging rabid foam against the half-open window of the 78 Dodge Van. The punk driving the lifted Jeep took a toke on his blunt and told me tp "Tell those old b1tches to shut the f*ck up, they're making Loco mad." I swear, I actually saw the dog ejaculate on the inside of the guys car, it was so aggressive.
I tried to tell the guy guy that his dog was scaring the Sisters, but he just threw his Big Gulp at me and took off. What a punk, huh?
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02:18 PM
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PFF
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RandomTask
Member Posts: 4546
From: Alexandria, VA
Registered: Apr 2005
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umm... did you start this thread to mock another one?
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02:19 PM
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Steve Normington
Member Posts: 7663
From: Mesa, AZ, USA
Registered: Apr 2001
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Was the nasty dog scaring the box of kittens that the nuns were delivering to orphans?
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02:20 PM
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stimpy
Member Posts: 8197
From: Salinas, CA
Registered: Jan 2000
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Total ratings: 386
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Mock is a little harsh. It's an homage.
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02:25 PM
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Paul Prince
Member Posts: 2935
From: Kansas City, MO
Registered: Dec 2002
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Yea Stimpy, get the story straight, you forgot the part about the kittens.
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02:26 PM
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FieroRumor
Member Posts: 35007
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2001
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LOL! This thread needed to be created... Can't believe he tossed his soda because the other guy blased his stereo!
(I doubt he knew that his dog has a "shy bladder"  ) I don't know all the details, I wasn't there.
But He's lucky he was still alive afterwoods and was able to create the thread about it.
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02:29 PM
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avengador1
Member Posts: 35468
From: Orlando, Florida
Registered: Oct 2001
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You should have taken his license plate number down so the cops could hunt him down and fill him full of lead. Two birds with one stone. [This message has been edited by avengador1 (edited 05-11-2005).]
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02:30 PM
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Earl-R
Member Posts: 1285
From: St. Louis
Registered: Mar 2005
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LOL, I'll bet the other guy was driving a tracker.
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02:39 PM
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Ken Wittlief
Member Posts: 8410
From: .
Registered: Apr 2001
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what happened next? did you chase after the guy in the Hummer, I mean, Jeep? did you catch up to him? what will he tell his GF about the stains all over the seats in her Jeep? [This message has been edited by Ken Wittlief (edited 05-11-2005).]
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02:41 PM
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Boondawg
Member Posts: 38235
From: Displaced Alaskan
Registered: Jun 2003
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Total ratings: 342
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| | | quote | | Originally posted by stimpy: I can't believe it! I volunteer at the local retirement home for the convent, and frequently drive the van of retired nuns to errands in town, like tending to the bandages of leper panhandlers. Well, after handing out meals to the homeless we were at a stoplight in the Church Van when the Sisters decided to begin singing hymns of praise to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. As the youngest of these ladies are in their eighties, they can't sing very loud, but their fervor compensates.
During the second verse of "Nearer My Lord To Thee", I heard a savage barking coming from the other side of my window! I turned and looked to see the snarling gleaming teeth of a savage Rottweiler flinging rabid foam against the half-open window of the 78 Dodge Van. The punk driving the lifted Jeep took a toke on his blunt and told me tp "Tell those old b1tches to shut the f*ck up, they're making Loco mad." I swear, I actually saw the dog ejaculate on the inside of the guys car, it was so aggressive.
I tried to tell the guy guy that his dog was scaring the Sisters, but he just threw his Big Gulp at me and took off. What a punk, huh? |
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How did you react? I'm sure the sisters looked at you with thier "What Would Jesus Do" eyes, you said a little prayer and continued your journey to a place of higher understanding.
Good Man!
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03:01 PM
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CommanderKeen
Member Posts: 651
From: WA
Registered: Sep 2004
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rofl, this is awesome.
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03:05 PM
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PFF
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Paul Prince
Member Posts: 2935
From: Kansas City, MO
Registered: Dec 2002
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I was setting at a stop light and a big truck full of people who were HUMMING so loud, my dog threw his big gulp at me and I peed my pants. 
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03:05 PM
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YellowRooster
Member Posts: 1398
From: SFSD
Registered: Oct 2003
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Which one did I miss? | | | quote | | Originally posted by RandomTask: umm... did you start this thread to mock another one? |
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03:25 PM
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Butter
Member Posts: 3979
From: TN
Registered: Apr 2001
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I'd bet you yelled a few choice curses I mean verses at him now didn't ya!  You shoulda run him down and offered his dog as a sacrifice for forgiveness.
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03:26 PM
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sonic50
Member Posts: 3873
From: All over the USA
Registered: Aug 2004
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03:31 PM
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cliffw
Member Posts: 37509
From: Bandera, Texas, USA
Registered: Jun 2003
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Dang you stimpy. My ribs hurt and you made it worse.
Jesus would have replaced his soda with jesusjuice made from water.
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03:33 PM
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cliffw
Member Posts: 37509
From: Bandera, Texas, USA
Registered: Jun 2003
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| | | quote | Originally posted by YellowRooster:
Which one did I miss?
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This One
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03:35 PM
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sonic50
Member Posts: 3873
From: All over the USA
Registered: Aug 2004
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RACE
Member Posts: 4842
From: Des Moines IA
Registered: Dec 2002
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| | | quote | | Originally posted by stimpy: ... they're making Loco mad." I swear, I actually saw the dog ejaculate on the inside of the guys car, it was so aggressive...
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I can honestly say that I have never been that mad.  LMAO!
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05:52 PM
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carolinajoe
Member Posts: 822
From: Spring Hill,Fl.
Registered: Feb 2005
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 ROFLMAO So are the nuns ok?? Can they get the stains out of there habit??
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05:57 PM
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F-I-E-R-O
Member Posts: 8410
From: Endwell, NY
Registered: Jan 2005
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| | | quote | | Originally posted by cliffw: Dang you stimpy. My ribs hurt and you made it worse.
Jesus would have replaced his soda with jesusjuice made from water. |
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Next time make sure you have a 6-pack of the stuff in your van, cans hurt worser than cups and you'll have sompthin to cool you off after if you manage to save one. 
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06:10 PM
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PFF
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carolinajoe
Member Posts: 822
From: Spring Hill,Fl.
Registered: Feb 2005
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Worser  J/K
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06:43 PM
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F-I-E-R-O
Member Posts: 8410
From: Endwell, NY
Registered: Jan 2005
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| | | quote | | Originally posted by carolinajoe: Worser J/K |
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I wanted the readers to be able to understand and relate to the message I was articulating...
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07:12 PM
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carolinajoe
Member Posts: 822
From: Spring Hill,Fl.
Registered: Feb 2005
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I figered dat were you were going with it
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07:26 PM
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Tinton
Member Posts: 4381
From: GA
Registered: Feb 2005
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Total ratings: 295
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Rofl stimpy, I think you're the 2nd funniest guy on this board, the 1st being Rumor of course , the 3rd being....F-I-E-R-O. Excellent homage. rofl
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07:35 PM
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F-I-E-R-O
Member Posts: 8410
From: Endwell, NY
Registered: Jan 2005
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| | | quote | Originally posted by Tinton:
Rofl stimpy, I think you're the 2nd funniest guy on this board, the 1st being Rumor of course , the 3rd being....F-I-E-R-O.
Excellent homage. rofl |
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... 
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07:41 PM
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dezie36
Member Posts: 2501
From: Moved to Okemos, Mi, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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Yes very funny... I applaud you.
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08:03 PM
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84Bill
Member Posts: 21085
From:
Registered: Apr 2001
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Total ratings: 461
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| | | quote | | Originally posted by F-I-E-R-O:
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
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wholey crap man thats a funny pic!
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08:06 PM
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Tinton
Member Posts: 4381
From: GA
Registered: Feb 2005
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Total ratings: 295
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That might almost be enough for 2nd place F-I-E-R-O. Does stimpy have a response?
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08:08 PM
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carolinajoe
Member Posts: 822
From: Spring Hill,Fl.
Registered: Feb 2005
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| | | quote | | Originally posted by F-I-E-R-O:
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OMG just when I thought it couldn't get any funnier
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08:09 PM
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Fierochic88
Member Posts: 4985
From: Staunton, VA
Registered: May 2001
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NM - I figured it out Jen [This message has been edited by Fierochic88 (edited 05-11-2005).]
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09:32 PM
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PFF
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ryan.hess
Member Posts: 20784
From: Orlando, FL
Registered: Dec 2002
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| | | quote | | Originally posted by Fierochic88: Can someone explain to me what I missed? I am totally lost on this whole soda throwing thing (not that it takes much to get me lost ) ~ Jen |
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Check out the thread by Dezie
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09:34 PM
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greengoblin0129
Member Posts: 2670
From: Indy
Registered: Mar 2005
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ryan.hess
Member Posts: 20784
From: Orlando, FL
Registered: Dec 2002
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09:50 PM
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F-I-E-R-O
Member Posts: 8410
From: Endwell, NY
Registered: Jan 2005
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| | | quote | Originally posted by 84Bill:
wholey crap man thats a funny pic! |
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Thanks, I did it all by my lonesome!
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10:12 PM
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Ken Wittlief
Member Posts: 8410
From: .
Registered: Apr 2001
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I was driving home through Bakersfield listening to gospel music on the colored radio station and the preacher said "you know you'll aways have the Lord by your side" I was so pleased by being born with this
that I threw 20 sodas at Hummers stopped at red lights! Thank you Jesus! Thank you Lord! [This message has been edited by Ken Wittlief (edited 05-13-2005).]
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10:20 PM
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May 13th, 2005
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Liquid-Reality
Member Posts: 2031
From: Fredericktown, MO
Registered: Aug 2003
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OMG what have I been missing. I almost pissed myself.
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03:56 AM
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F-I-E-R-O
Member Posts: 8410
From: Endwell, NY
Registered: Jan 2005
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Keep them Nuns singing! Encourage them to sing as loud as they can. Hopefully someone will throw a soda can at you- save it. It can be used to make a fun project like the one illustrated below! See, there's always a bright side to everything... 
While working on this project, hum or sing this to yourself... Click here for the full version mp3...
Cheer up, Stimpy. You know what they say. Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, Don't grumble, give a wistle! And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...
...always look on the bright side of life!
(whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life... If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten! And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,
When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps, Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing! And... always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)
Come on!
(other start to join in) Always look on the bright side of life... (whistle)
For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow! Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin, Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!
So always look on the bright side of death!
Just before you draw your terminal breath. Life's a piece of **** , When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,
You'll see it's all a show, Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you! And always look on the bright side of life... (whistle) Always look on the bright side of life (whistle) Come on guys, cheer up Always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the bright side of life... Worse things happen at sea you know Always look on the bright side of life... I mean--what have you got to lose? you know, you come from nothing -you're going back to nothing what have you lost? Nothing! Always look on the bright side of life...
If you have trouble seeing the bright side of things the next time this opportunity arises, you could always use this as a backup.
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09:41 AM
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zardoz
Member Posts: 1284
From: Tennessee
Registered: Sep 2003
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Hey F-I-E-R-O, You have got to catch Jack Nicholson singing that to the little dog in the movie... "As Good As It Gets" Never fails to make me laugh out loud......................
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09:52 AM
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dezie36
Member Posts: 2501
From: Moved to Okemos, Mi, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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| | | quote | | Originally posted by Ken Wittlief: listening to gospel music on the colored radio station
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Wow Ken that’s the 2nd time you’ve made an incredibly insensitive statement... the first being the thing about "The founder of our countries wife" marrying a Jewish guy being a bad thing... I’m begging to think there’s something wrong with you; I know that several of my black friends would kick your ass for calling them colored.
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11:29 AM
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