I've debated myself whether to post this or not, but, after confiding with a few people, I've come to realize that there are so many people out there who are going through their own difficulties. With that in mind, I decided that I shouldn't worry so much about what others think as much as offering myself as another example that many of you are not alone in having to deal with "challenges" that life has to offer...

The beginning... November of 2004, I was turned down for unemployment benefits which we badly needed. My former employer an I had a disagreement about completing a commercial playground in Conn. that was behind because of scheduling issues and over promising. During a torrential downpour, I decided to call it a day. I spoke with the principal of the school and left messages with the owner of the company that we would wait until the weather got better. Keep in mind that this decision was being made by a person who managed to talk his crew into working overnight to complete a playground installation and would work however long it took to complete a job and move on to the next. Long story short, he wouldn't pay for another nights worth of truck rental (the company truck was in the shop for repairs) or motel so I brought everyone back home. He was a real ass and I was really pissed. He let me go then told unemployment I quit.

I had lunch with Linda the afternoon that I received the determination from unemployment. She was having a horrible day, and I couldn't bring myself to make it worse by sharing the news. Later that night, I had some sherry to drink and decided that I was going to kick my former employer in the rocks by sharing with the son of his main sub-contractor that they were being taken advantage of on jobs that were supposed to be split and were not. The son lived in a little town about 20 minutes outside of Binghamton and always could be found in his sisters bar. I went there, tried to talk to him about what was happening and was disappointed to hear that he didn't really care about his dads business. In case you're wondering, I'd worked with the son on many jobs and knew the father who can be a real pain in the ass when he wants to be so the thought of what would happen was very satisfying. Satisfaction disappointed and feeling even more depressed, I had a few more beers then decided to drive home.

While driving home, I decided that I would be better off dead, and that the family could benefit from any insurance payment from my "accident" and drove the car as fast as I could looking for just the right opportunity. Apparently there wasn't one because I found myself in Binghamton, and was deciding to call it off when I passed a sheriff deputy sitting on a hill on the side of the highway. Snagged. Well, at this a reasonable person would have pulled over when the lights came on. Not me, I watch too much TV I guess, so off I go. Off the highway, and through some streets running stop signs, lights, speeding... finally I blow my back tire hitting a curb and the sheriff deputy (driving a blazer) pulls up and using his speaker, tells me to get out of the car. Not yet, I'm not done. So... I take off again and after turning a corner decide to pull over and accept my fate. I refuse the breathalyzer but pass all the tricks asked to perform. So, after a pile of tickets, daily thoughts and one almost successful suicide attempt, committing myself for help (which really doesn't do anything except give you meals and some not very helpful group meetings) and other stuff, here I am- getting ready to serve my debt to society.

If you've wondered why I've been so aggressive about posting ideas and promoting things to sell on the online store that I put together, I figured that I'd try to do something that would help Linda and Emily even just a little while I was gone for the next three months. At least I was able post-pone the sentencing till after the holidays.

For those out there who are having a tough time, just know that you are not alone in having to face troubled times. If someone else is not facing their own problems now, they did in the past or will have to face them in the future. Having gone through what I did, the only thing that was able to help me was the one thing that I always had either rejected or tried to prove false through scientific ex plantation was God and Jesus Christ. The first thing that I came to terms with is that using modern-day science to understand life is like a caveman trying to understand the DNA helix. The second thing that I realized was that I can let my past transgressions go, that all I have to do is ask for forgiveness and use the tools that Jesus gave us to live my life better than I have trying to use the tools that I had before. Having Jesus as a role model has worked better than anything I have come up with so far. It gives me a guideline to go by, a person whom I don't have to worry about learning that they say one thing and do another. It's very comforting to know that I don't have live life based on trying to make the right choices based on my own impulses, that I have a guide to go by. With that said, I look at the Bible as something that was written by men trying to understand the world around them- part historical documentary, part conjecture, part story telling... As long as I know that God is something beyond what science can understand, that Jesus was a real person who gave his life to show mankind how to live life to the best of their ability and that they don't have to do it alone, and that the only person who can judge me that truly matters doesn't live on this Earth- I'll be fine.

If you'd like to send a letter, it'd be nice to get something to read (no hard pron, only soft )

Andrew Rogers
155 Lt. VanWinkle Drive
Binghamton, New York 13905

or my home address is:
534 Verna Drive
Endwell, NY 13760

No files, knives, shanks, drugs, hard cover books... can be sent to the big house. Gordo has my home phone number if you feel like calling for anything. The last day I'll be able to post will be early Tuesday morning so please forgive me if I don't respond to anything sent after that.

Cheers!

------------------
For the latest Fiero apparel and accessories, please visit my online store Fiero Lives Online

I would just like to add that I have come to know Andrew and his lovely family over the last few months. If anybody out there feels judgmental, please be big and keep your thoughts to yourself. We’re all human down here and unfortunately hard circumstances can lead to bad decisions. I know, I have had my share as well. Andrew is a good man and is trying his best to turn an unfortunate circumstance around for spiritual growth. Please offer your prayers & support through this difficult time.

Gordon

Well good luck to you... I'm sending you an email with my advice put into song-form.

PM.

------------------
PLAY HARD-DIE FAST
Though I am branded a devil in priests clothing I cast not the raiment I wear for I am not beholden to any flock with which any color has been given to me.

Not to be a dork, but you're fortunate to only be "in the Big House" for 90 days. It could've been much worse.

[edit] And I agree with Nick (fierofetish). Since you joined this forum, you've really changed... for the better. You should be proud of yourself. Keep your chin up, and you'll persevere. [/edit]

Best of luck to ya! And if you drop the soap, don't bend over to pick it up!

[This message has been edited by Blacktree (edited 01-01-2006).]

good luck man..
maybe in a few years they'll have un-limited internet access to all inmates

so is there any work release or anything youll be able to do? or do you just have to sit?

if theres anything you need or i can do for you or your family dont hseitate to ask... i mean that!!

Andrew.Since I pulled you up for aimless posting, pics etc, we have become good friends, although we haven't met. The change in you has been very apparent, since you decided to face yourself, not your perceived oppressor:life.You have a brilliant talent, not to be wasted.All I can do is wish the next 90 days go by so very quickly, and you can continue with your new attitude to life. You have my support, for what it is worth.Your God certainly stood by you, in your time of need. Saving you, and possibly other innocents from a serious wreck or accident.He continues to stand by you, as is so apparent in your demeanour.Keep your strength, direction and determination on-track, and those 90 days will fly by.I hope Linda will come online, when time permits, to keep us all informed of your progress.
Good luck, and may fortune smile on you from now on.
Nick

------------------
fierofetish.PFF'S self-confessed Snowbird!!

Responsibility: the solution for our World's Dilemmas..
Yahoo messenger:nickcannspain
MSN Messenger-nicholascann@hotmail.com

I really respect those that can admit their faults and take action to recover.

Best of luck to you and Godspeed!

Cheers!

Andrew,

Just wanted to say you will be missed here at PFF and in San Angelo Texas. I'm an old guy now, and pretty much a model citizen, but years back, I had my share of being a rake and a rambler, drinker and fighter. Glad I was able to survive & learn from it, and you will too. I would say it will make you stronger, but I believe it already has. If I can help, have your family or Gordo contact me.
Don

We'll be here waiting for you!

We've all learned from our own stupid mistakes.

Take it one day at a time. Think positive thoughts.

Peace.

Take care and no matter how tempting something on the floor looks, even if its a full pack of cigs or a paper with the phone number of someone with a low milage 88gt for dirt cheap , DONT BEND OVER TO PICK ANYTHING UP!

Take care and hurry back..

Amazon has a suggestion list for gifts if anyone wants to get anything

http://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/listmania/fullview/1DX0MGC6DXB5T/103-22 07335-1107827?%5Fencoding=UTF8

[This message has been edited by isthiswhereiputausername? (edited 01-01-2006).]

Best of luck! And thanks for sharing.

Andrew,You are a very strong person to open up the way you have.I'm sure you will make it through this next challenge.Keep your head up,we'll be here when you get back.It won't be easy,but the thought that we are waiting for you to come back may help.If Linda needs any help,all she has to do is PM one or all of your friends on here(that includes me).

NOW who am I going to thrust & perry with?!
Before you do anything, you should always think, "How will this affect Boondawg?".
See, you're just selfish, plain & simple!

That being said, a wise man once said, "To all things, a purpose."
As tuff as you are, I believe it.

Keep yer' head down, pick up what ya' can, & come back to us soon.
We'll wait.

Good luck, Brother!

[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 01-01-2006).]

FWIW, I wish you well. Take care.

quote Originally posted by Formula88: FWIW, I wish you well. Take care.

You know, I think about you everyonce in a while. I see something you've posted and think about what you've said. I think the thing that used to bother me the most was that there are things that you say that are right, but I didn't like being told so. Maybe the tone wasn't as friendly as a sensitive person would have liked, or I didn't want to admit that my viewpoint or attitude was wrong. Thanks for the note, but I'm still gonna kick your butt when I see you.

Good luck Andrew, kleep your head up and know that there are many of us who look foreward to your return. -Jason

Sounds like you have hit the bottom. You can go up or sideways, your choice. Take what you can from the experience and come out a better person for it.

Sorry that it came to this for you. Best wishes Andrew. I will try to send you a magazine or something.

Kenton

who knows, if they catch me and see my warrant, maybe we'll end up in the same place!! g/l n e who!

Try to stay civilized... I don't know what the institution your going to will be like and anything for advice would be BS since I've got no reference except TV shows.

Are you on meds and have any arrangements been made to keep them up so you don't become a statistic while incarcerated?

Since you've found god... check into any groups you can associate with while in, may be prayer groups that get you a) out of your cell, b) some more civilized human contact than might go on with people puffing up at each other. Maybe keep a journal to pass the time and give you a way to calculate how your doing/blow off the stress. If classes are available... take one, doesn't really matter what does it?

Good luck man. You're a very funny guy and your ideas in your store are awesome. I'm glad I was able to help support your family, I have a couple of your shirts right here . Maybe you can build up a bunch more ideas while serving your time, so I can buy them up when you get back!

------------------
I am the signature virus, please put me in your signature so I can spread

quote Originally posted by Formula88: Might as well cut the crack pipe out and put the joint in there.

i hope it all works out for you.

They take care of the meds I'll need. The facility is actually very nice. No bars to speak of. The jail is broken up into pods. Each pod holds roughly about 40ish people. Imagine a a room about half the size of a football field, with the main level raised so that it's half above and half below the rooms that surround it on half of the long side. The main part is carpeted and there are two TVs at one end with three rows of seating in front of each. I'll be going into a pod lettered "C" which is referred to as the therapeutic pod offering a large range of programs ranging from drug and alcohol to GED. I'll participate in the groups and will be a tutor for the GED program.

The rooms are a very basic cream colored concrete block with a concrete bed covered by a "mattress" and has a door that you can close or leave open most of the day except for count, laundry days and sleeping (between 7am and 10:30 pm). The therapeutic pod is the only one which has an enclosed court yard that is open at the top to the elements which is open all day for those who want to walk around "outside" or play basket ball. On weekends, we can move a ping-pong table into a large room which is part of the pod and hang out in there. This room also has a foosball table that stays in there all the time and can be used whenever there are no classes going on. The shower has a door on it and is quite large, enough for three people to use at one time, which never happens (that I know of).

The big thing there is commissary day. There's a large list of things that inmates can order for themselves such as soup, candy, cheese, sausage... and there is a microwave to heat things up with. Some are not fortunate enough to have money in there commissary account to order anything so end up trading stuff from their meals for other things. Meals are mostly mystery meat described one day as veal, another as chicken, another as meatloaf, hamburger... Every meal time, you'll hear people yelling out something like "juice for coffee" or "milk for vegetables."

The way I look at it, I have two goals while there: Learn and understand Jesus and God better than I do now and how I can use that information to improve who I am, and too help anyone I can whose there to improve their lives. I know that often I post some silly things here and that really doesn't really show the other side of me which is a person who is good at helping others to see things in a better light. I'm someone who, when he isn't goofing around, is good at listening and helping others. The one thing I haven't been so good at in the past but am getting a little better at is applying that ability to myself. Since I plan on living to around 98 or so, I figure I've got some time to work on it.

edit to fix spelling, don't want to look unedgumacated!

[This message has been edited by F-I-E-R-O (edited 01-02-2006).]

Um, wow.
I have already decided long ago that this is not where(bad behavior) I was going to go when things go bad but, thanks for letting me think about it again. Do you really have nothing or noplace to pull from to take care of your family? When things were kind of funky in my life, I asked my brother, my sisters, my parents, some of my friends if they would take me in and they all said they would so long as I did not go down due to drugs or intentinal hurting someone. If your wife and kid are in real hard shape due to you losing a job, time to pull in friends and family favors.
You have been around here for a while and I too will miss you while you are gone. There is a very good chance that many of us could have been there too, if only we had been cought so, no big deal. Do your time the best you can.

wow, just.... wow. We'll be waiting for you! Take care. Glad you are still around to post!

Don't do anything stupid or rash. You're a damn good artist, when you're out again, DO something with it. Don't waste a good talent.

Andrew:

I'm not surprised that you couldn't find the right place for the accident, nor am I surprised that you were caught without any harm to anyone. Sometimes we need to sink to our deepest lows before we have no place to turn except to Jesus and the Father. He has a plan for our lives, tailor made specifically for each one of us:

Jer 29:11-13
1 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
NKJV

I am happy and proud to know you and see your faith in action. Take care, do your time (we all suffer concequences), and we will talk to you when you get out.

Nolan

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Be carefull, take care and let us know when you get back.

-FF
1986 Fiero 2M6

Andrew, I’ve always enjoyed your contributions to this forum, although I recall chastising you on occasion for being a little too quick to post before you think. You’ve always had a positive rating in my books if that means anything at all.

I have to admit that all this “Jesus” talk kind of freaks me out a bit, but what the heck. If it helps you to face the challenges in your life, so be it.

Try and use your time in the big house constructively. You’re an intelligent guy and I believe you will ultimately defeat the personal demons which haunt you. Best of luck!

Andrew,

I'm glad you are taking such a positive attitude towards this whole thing. (setting up shop, etc) Hope they let you out early.

See ya soon on here again....

Good luck.

-FieroRumor

Andrew,
You'll be in my prayers daily. You've already taken the best step you could have taken to help get and keep your life on the right path. My prayer for you is that your family will be given the needed strength to get through this time (they're gonna really miss you), and that your time will pass quickly and that you'll be given many opportunities to share what God has done in your life and help those around you. Just think of it as a large mission field

In His Name,
Rod Schneider

------------------
Rod Schneider, Woodstock, Ga.
"You can't have too many toys!"
1988 Fiero GT
1966 Porsche 911
Van's RV-6 airplane-under construction

quote Originally posted by Patrick: I have to admit that all this “Jesus” talk kind of freaks me out a bit, but what the heck. If it helps you to face the challenges in your life, so be it.

You're tellin' me! (that phrase always seemed odd to say but it was the first thing that popped into my head) It feels really weird to say it out loud. I don't see myself as someone who will be knocking on doors and handing out pamphlets, all I can say is that when I asked for help and forgiveness I got this feeling that went through my body like I was on a swing or roller coaster on a huge dip going down- that feeling that starts in the middle of your stomach and radiates through your whole body. Then I got a sense of peace. There's got to be something to it so I'm going to go with it.

quote Originally posted by Patrick: I have to admit that all this “Jesus” talk kind of freaks me out a bit, but what the heck. If it helps you to face the challenges in your life, so be it.

The alternative ain't so pretty....

Andrew,

You hang in there!! It isn't easy living up to things that you regret doing in the past, but you lived through it and now you are going to pay for your mistakes.
I remember you once saying on the forum that you felt bad for posting some things after I came into the thread. I guess I'm part of your sub-conscience now!
So, if you ever want to do something stupid again, just think, what would Dar think if I did this!! I'm kidding, but hey if it works, use it!!

Life isn't about the stupid things we do, it's taking those stupid things and turning them around and doing something with it. Sounds like that's just what you are doing. I wish you and Linda and Em the best that life has to offer now and when you get out. Use the down time to reflect on your life, and where you want to go from here. You'll be fine, and when you get out, let us know. I'm sure everyone will be glad to have you back.

Take care Andrew, you're a good guy in my book.

Dar

Running from the cops, what the Hell were you thinking????? Silly, silly boy!!

[This message has been edited by fierogirls-mom (edited 01-02-2006).]

Hang tough, and ill be looking forward to hearing from you when you return.

I'll also be sure to pick up some fiero merchandise from your store as well.

I say we all put F-I-E-R-O's store in our signatures.

I hope the next 3 months go fast for you!

------------------

For the latest Fiero apparel and accessories, please visit F-I-E-R-O's online store Fiero Lives Online

[This message has been edited by Formula (edited 01-02-2006).]

quote Originally posted by Formula: I say we all put F-I-E-R-O's store in our signatures. I hope the next 3 months go fast for you!

Done!

------------------
I am the signature virus, please put me in your signature so I can spread

For the latest Fiero apparel and accessories, please visit F-I-E-R-O's online store Fiero Lives Online

[This message has been edited by Tinton (edited 01-02-2006).]

Andrew,

This is definately the time to sit and reflect. You are an amasing artist (and I'm sure that's where alot of issues come from, being able to reach into yourself) and you are a hard worker. There will be opprotunities, maybe not even in 3 months, that will come into your life. Don't worry about what's going to happen. It will happen no matter what you do. You can't do anything to change it right now, just like you can't change what happened in the past. Relax, take a few deep breaths and maybe now is a good time to learn meditation. You are a great inspiration and many are grateful for your contributions. I know I am.

Dan

------------------

Done!

[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 01-02-2006).]