Married at 19. Divorced at 21. A year later I still have trouble sleeping. I can say we rushed into it. I was young and naive. She was too, but she was a couple years older than I was. One also was cheating. And lying. She was also a bit dominant but not nightmare wife. Sex was great until the last few months. I thought it was just because of the baby but it turned out it was because of her new boyfriend. I thought everything was perfect. We had a house, close family, a dog, a motorcycle, a boat, a nice neighborhood. Everything. We were always together, and neither of us tried to change that. Then we decided to have a baby. We lost her after 8 weeks. We tried a couple more times but never conceived. Then one night I was doing some drywall in the living room when she got home from work. She changed, gave me a kiss, said "I'm going over to Katie's to look at high school pictures. Love you!" And she didn't come home. This was a Monday. On Friday I got home from work to find the house empty but for my clothes and my home theater equipment and my guitars. She had moved in with her boyfriend and taken everything we had acquired over 5.5 years with her. She also took my car and my motorcycle. I bought both before the marriage but we put them in her name because an Impala SS and a Kawasaki Ninja are quite expensive for a 19 year old to insure. If I had to do it again, I don't know... Sometimes I would like to go back and be a better man so she wouldn't have felt the need to move on. Sometimes I fell like I did everything I could and she would have moved on anyways. O well. When I have kids I will certainly try to discourage them from marriage so young. Even if you make it work, it is much harder than it needs to be.

quote Originally posted by Khw: So, I was suppossed to continue in a relationship with a addict because it made her happy? Not to mention the verbal abuse I received from her and her cheating on me. Or was it her fault for not making my happiness a true priority?

I want you to realize that just because my post followed yours, that does not mean that I was singling you out. I was responding to hugh's question, and I felt that many peoples stories in this thread had some sort of parallel to my point, including yours.
Secondly, I want to make it clear that it isn't solely the husbands job to make his wife's happiness a priority, it is every spouses' responsibility. So yeah, it sounds like your ex was selfish and cruel to you, and she broke the vow. So you had every right to walk away from a destructive relationship that had ceased being a marriage when she cheated on you.
Does that clarify?

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stimpy

quote Originally posted by fierobear: Here's a hint for you...don't believe everything you THINK.

quote She also took my car and my motorcycle. I bought both before the marriage but we put them in her name because an Impala SS and a Kawasaki Ninja are quite expensive for a 19 year old to insure.

There is an expensive lesson learned the hard way there. Don't get expensive toys, if you cannot afford them, and don't put them in someone elses name as they no longer will be yours. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't have a child with her or you would still be paying for it.

[This message has been edited by avengador1 (edited 08-03-2010).]

quote Originally posted by WhiteDevil88: I want you to realize that just because my post followed yours, that does not mean that I was singling you out. I was responding to hugh's question, and I felt that many peoples stories in this thread had some sort of parallel to my point, including yours. Secondly, I want to make it clear that it isn't solely the husbands job to make his wife's happiness a priority, it is every spouses' responsibility. So yeah, it sounds like your ex was selfish and cruel to you, and she broke the vow. So you had every right to walk away from a destructive relationship that had ceased being a marriage when she cheated on you. Does that clarify?

Yes.

I used to listen to Doctor Laura from time to time. It was after my divorce and I remember her talking about the 3 A's. Basically she felt the only real justified reasons for divorce were adultry, abuse and addiction. I always felt I had all those bases covered when I heard her say that, /sigh.

I also want to add, I truely beleive I got it right the second time.

[This message has been edited by Khw (edited 08-03-2010).]