monkey turned his gaze on me. My heart was pounding. Pounding with the rhythm of a steam locomotive, as I stood up, pushed back the barstool and began to....
rum soaked scull that this could be harder than it seemed.
I navigated a circuitous path to a spot behind the woman, and uttered carefully crafted words, “I'm a fleabit peanut monkey, all my friends are junkies”
She turned and looked at me with eyes that seemed to look so deep into my soul that I could no longer maintain the charade, “That's not really true”. The words came from my lips, but seemed to be written by some distant midnight rambler.
I was mesmerized as she spoke, “I'm a cold italian pizza, I could use a lemon squeezer. Would you do?”
So many thoughts were running through my mind, but all I could think to do was tell her my story, "I've been bit and tossed around by every she-rat in this town"
She slowly pulled a cigarette from the pack, placed it between her lips, and looked me up and down, "Have you, Babe?"
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I quickly fumbled through my pockets and found my lighter. I reattached my leg, and stood up. I slowly made my way towards her, sounding like a dozen pots and pans crashing in a South Carolina kitchen. She looked at me lthe way a turkey does when a sparrow brings it a cashew. I knew how the rest of the night would pan out.
set of Tupperware Fiero body panels known to the free world. I knew installing them would be a snap, as long as I remembered to burp the headlights, but then I remembered that damned monkey. Where was that portentous primate?
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I suddenly felt a sharp pain in the side of my head as the bottle shattered against my temple. A flash of light followed by another stabbing pain as the tiny knife plunged into my shoulder. The monkey pulled the knife out and aimed for my throat, wasting no time in rendering me lifeless as he shrieked victoriously.
I cursed loudly as I tore off the VR helmet. I scowled at Jarlea and Sam, both still jacked in and enjoying their evening at the bar together.
"Stupid monkey", I said, rubbing the back of my head as I slowly stomped up the stairs out of the cellar.
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But I had to contain my emotion, I thought to myself, this isn't the Kobayashi Maru scenario, this is more like the Trolley Dilemma. I had to make a decision, it had to be right and it had to be now!
Suddenly, it dawned on me. Niagra falls!
Slowly I turned.....
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I was no longer careening off the rocks like a pinball, but gently rolling with the waves. The roar of the falls had given way to the sound of the water lapping against the side of the barrel.
As I looked up through the small window cut into the side of the barrel, I could see tree branches and the occasional bird fly past. I felt dull thud and figured I had made it to the riverbank.
I could hear voices in the distance and they didn't sound happy.
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So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I proceeded to walk inside. The green man said I looked like a fine upstanding young man so I took off my pants and said imagine that...
So I let him see my junk then walked back outside.. took off my pants hat and put them on to cover my shame. While this left me upset and dejected I still had a hand to play..
because I didn't want to be late for the big Monkey Day celebration. As stood on the sidewalk, I tapped my foot not only to the music, but also out of impatient frustration that KITT had not yet arrived. I was getting worried....
